Recently I came out to my family, for the second time. The first time I came out as bi. This time I came out as a full blown lesbian. I feel like this is a stereotype but I still believe that bisexuals exist (people who say it’s just the first step in being gay are ignorant). When I came out as bi I was still in high school, i was still holding onto the ideals the society wanted to force me into, i figured I’d try both and figure it out from there. After taking this class I realized that what I have been thinking about for a long time is actually true, that I want to be identified as a lesbian. There are a multitude of reasons for this. First of which is that I could never see myself being married to a man, but when I think about being married to a woman it makes me happy and hopeful. The second reason is that learning more about gay terms and classifications kind of makes you want to say fuck it all lets just be people. In the grand scheme of things my sexuality exists only in my own head and the term “lesbian” is to help other lesbians find me. I don’t want dudes hitting on me, but I would be fine with a woman doing it. I feel like identifying as a lesbian is inviting that energy in. And if I change my mind in the future? So be it. This is my life and I am going to call myself whatever the fuck I want.
Cats and Books 
I think that is awesome that you were so brave to come out to your family. You did not do it just once but you did it twice. You are also very confident in saying that you can identify however you want and live your life. I feel like that it how everyone should live no matter what your sexuality is. There also aren’t the stereotypes of, first your come out as bisexual then you decide if you are straight or not. Of course bisexual people exist because they just do. Everyone can identify in whatever way they want, there is more than one or two ways. People figure out who they are and what they like as they grow as a person. Plus as you get older once you learn more, not just from a class, but in the real world. Everyone can change their mind, especially in different stages in their lives. I think it is important for people to know that they can change their minds and feelings. I think it is also important to discuss with other people that identify like you do. You would have more in common and there would be someone who understands you a little bit better than others.
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I understand what you mean, identities are to be decided by the person they represent, not by anyone else. And there’s nothing wrong with changing your mind, changing how you feel, what you want. People do it all the time with their sense of style, their likes and dislikes, their careers. I don’t think there should be rules to sexuality and gender either. As we change and grow as people, our sexualities and gender can change just like anything else. I know in my personal experience, my sense of sexuality and gender has changed a lot in the last five years. As has my style, my interests, beliefs, goals, career interests, etc. And that is totally legitimate and cool. I think that it is better to change, because it shows growth. If you stay the same your whole life, then to me it shows a lack of growth, of exploration and understanding of the world and yourself. Ultimately I believe that your identity can change as many times and as often as you please, because your sense of identity should change as you learn and grow. And nobody else can tell you what you are or aren’t.
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First of all, I think it is very brave of you to come out to your family. Unlike friends or even people we do not know, our family can be our biggest critics and biggest supporters. So I think coming out should never be undermined as something simple, it takes courage to profess to your loved ones that you are different to what they think.
I loved your second reason on why you came out;“ The second reason is that learning more about gay terms and classifications kind of makes you want to say fuck it all let’s just be people.” I feel this mood on a daily, and totally agree with it, who cares who I like or what I identify as, it is my life.
Overall, your post just made me really happy for you. You should put your happiness before anything else. I like that you made the point that right now you may identify as a lesbian, but that in the future that could change. This is such a good point in that, you are completely right, what you identify with is not set in stone, you can always change who you want to be with.
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